From MERRIAM WEBSTER dictionary:          Definition of spontaneous

“1 : proceeding from natural feeling or native tendency without external constraint

 2 : arising from a momentary impulse

 3 : controlled and directed internally : self-acting spontaneous movement characteristic of       living things


 4 : produced without being planted or without human labor : indigenous


 5 : developing or occurring without apparent external influence, force, cause, or treatment


 6 : not apparently contrived or manipulated : natural”


Spontaneity is the quality or state of being spontaneous.  

I must admit, I love spontaneous.   Give me an unplanned day and I feel it is a gift.   But that also has it’s opposite; last minutes change of plans sometimes upset my internal clock.   There are spontaneous actions which can be life saving or catastrophic. But for this blog, I will be considering speaking spontaneous.  When I speak spontaneously, sometimes it is wisdom and sometimes it is obtuse.  Opposite sides of the coin – wisdom or obtuse.  (Guess most everything has it’s opposite; feeling, effect, outcome, etc.)

Lets look at OBTUSE (one of the opposites of wisdom):

Definition of obtuse 

“Lacking sharpness or quickness of sensibility or intellect : insensitive, stupid.

Difficult to comprehend : not clear or precise in thought or expression.”

What guides me to speak spontaneously with Wisdom or Obtuseness?   Basically it seems to be whether I am speaking from the emotional feeling of love/concern, or anger/ indignation/wrath.

Therefore;  I would recommend to myself that before i blurt out spontaneous words, I check to see my emotional state.  If I am feeling unrighteous or needing vindication or anger;  I would advise myself to wait to sleep on my response instead of being spontaneous.

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Joy is defined as:   The emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight .The expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety. A state of happiness or felicity : bliss. A source or cause of delight.


So I think this photo looks like JOY.   Theses flowers are just jumping for joy.   If this photo is a glance at joy, I would say that it invokes joy in the beholder.   Is that what JOY is or does?  It is the item that invokes the feeling of delight, gaiety, bliss in the beholder then experiences the reciprocal  – the object that did the invoking of Joy experiences the  feeling of JOY at the accomplishment.  So the flowers are a source or cause of delight.   I would imagine as Humans, when we know we have created a source of cause of delight, that we may bask in that and feel Joy.

So is Joy elusive because we are looking for receiving it, instead of giving it.   Is it in the giving that we receive?


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Maybe I posted previously about a tool I used to make life decisions; that was by thinking of myself as an old lady, sitting in a rocking chair on the porch, reflecting on the decision.   Often prevented me from taking the easy way out.

Now that I am the old lady and those decisions are behind me, I still have concerns that trouble me.   The new way I found to lift my spirits is to picture my divine self  up above my physical self and observing from that vantage point.   Usually that clears up my troubles by putting me in a state of contentment/peace.

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Allow me to reflect on this word;   SURRENDER.    The first thing that comes to mind is acceptance.   Surrender to a condition, place, predicament, conflict is to accept it.  Not to judge, ignore, or feel the pressure of having to find a solution.

Release of anxiety comes from Surrender.   Think of an item that you wish release from.  Surrender your anxiety about this item to your higher self.   Realize that the burden will be dealt with in such a manner that your worry could not consider.

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Reflections on 2018


The year of 2018 is expiring as I write this.   This year has been one of growth for me.  I no longer doubt my judgement, thoughts, inspirations, drives, insights.     I may just reflect or I may choose to take action.  I seem more mature in holding off on my reactions or the expression of them.  I do not seek out approval or confirmation of my opinions, hopes, beliefs, and gut reactions.

I do not toot those opinions, hopes, beliefs and gut reactions of mine; but rely on them for my actions, or lack thereof.   My Faith in the future is better than a year ago.

Yes, I am aware of being wrong, but I no longer fear that.   Maybe my old age is growing on me?

My hope for 2019 is that I am right more than wrong.  Time always tells  –  as they say ‘the proof is in the pudding.’    Hold me in your prayers and happy thoughts.

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Seeing Behind The Curtain?

Part of my meditation ritual is putting my strength of consciousness into positive reflective statements in my log book.   This statement is in my log book:

The only thing that holds up the curtain hiding the power & control octopus is the lack of  belief in ourselves.   But as with the 100th monkey syndrome; enough Humans see behind the curtain hiding the octopus of power & control, that enables the consciousness of all humans to see and shine the light.”

Recently I realized that people, who are content with the power and control, get hoodwinked into fighting to keep the curtain up, and don’t even realize there is a curtain!  It, therefore, becomes so easy for them not to question or believe those who know there is a curtain.  They become pawns rallying against those that are  referred to, so lovingly, as conspiracy theorist, which I have seen called conspiracy realists (the label I am proud to have), or, of late, – the deplorables,  for upsetting the rotten apple cart.  

What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is… “   see twitter account (inthematrixxx).

Side note:  do I believe all the alternative news out there?  Maybe some, maybe not some.  But I think when the curtain hiding truth, peace and love is dismantled, I shall see some of the conspiracy realist validated.  I will not be as surprised as those who have not been forewarned because of their blind trust in Main Stream Media (MSM).   Guess that will put me in a position to help those who get rudely awakened with truth.   I do believe that the curtain hides EVIL (created by EVIL itself).    Now this is not a blog of religious dogma, but can one deny the existence of evil?    We do not need to be Bible toting to see and know and avoid evil.  But the magnitude of evil is what is denied by sweet, innocent, humanity.

Back to the curtain:    My meditative statement has been changed to:

“The only thing that holds up the curtain hiding the power & control octopus is the lack of  belief in ourselves.   But as with the 100th monkey syndrome; when enough Humans realize there is a curtain hiding the octopus of evil power & evil control, that will enable the consciousness of all humans to see and shine the light.”2013 08 14_0191

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Going Forward (part 2)

Back on June 13, 2017,  someone who liked the blog on that day, asked if there would be a part 2?   My reflections on that:

Since part 1 reflected on a Tarot Card; today I pulled XVI THE TOWER.  The picture is one of destruction with a naked human falling out of the tower.  Certainly my 43 years of marriage ended (the tower), and the foundation of the belief that marriage gave me stability – gone.

Being naked is that I now am the sole creator of my existence.  Left behind were the taken for granted items of daily routine, someone to have supper with or go to the movies with, someone else to pay the bills and make financial decisions.   And I am content with this?

Although that may sound sad;  I now have more strength, resolve of character, self resilience,  determination, and trust in myself.   Things work out for me, but I am not dependent on someone else to tell me what’s best.   I get to make my decisions, grow and learn;  even at my age.

New friendships evolve daily and those are new treasures.


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